Having read the review several times, I now have a plan of action:
Addressing the weak areas in the story line. I’ve listed all of the areas that need some work. Some of then are just clarification of things that are in my head that didn’t make it onto paper, others are complete rewrites.
The re-writes have taken quite a lot of planning and most of them I’m happy with, but there are still one or two that I need to iron out the details on.
I need to shore up the journey that my hero takes. Make sure that the reader understand his motivation, and why he needs to do what he does, and what drives him.
Although I now know what I need to do, this is still quite patchy. I think that once the plot phase has been fixed, I can drill into this a little bit more.
The perspective currently jumps about a bit from character to character. I need to look at this once the plot is fixed and re-write anything that’s not consistent
Show Not Tell:
Again, once the above fixed are in place, I can re-write the weaker bits of the story to draw the reader deeper into the experience.
It’s taken me a while to work out how I am going to do the re-write. Using the PC is ok, but it’s keeping track of what I’ve changed where. There’s quite a lot of changes that need to be made. In the end, I’ve got a copy of the manuscript, and a note pad. I’ve made notes on the manuscript referencing pages on the notepad, and done the re-writes in there. So far it’s working, but it does mean that I’ll have to copy it all into the PC once I’m done.