Last week, I nearly threw the towel in on this whole writing lark. It's not that I'm disillusioned, or struggling for ideas. I'm feeling quite the opposite. The problem was that I didn't think that I had enough talent.
The thing that set the train of though into motion was that I'd picked up my MS and started to read through it. It's been through some serious revisions, and I felt that it should be at the stage where I'm going to need to look at the flow, and characters, more than whether the narrative was active or passive. BUT, I started to read the first chapter, and there was shedloads wrong with it. How could I have missed all of this? If this was the results of two carefully thought out edits, then it was going to take about a hundred attempts to make it barely readable. What was the point of having half a dozen well formed stories floating around my head if I could never do them justice when I committed them to paper?
Of course, the packing it in thought was fleeting. I don't really have a choice on whether I write. It's either do it, or my head will explode. And I'm sure I'd have to clear up the mess after :o|
That was last week. Today is a new week, and it dawned on me that in my last two rounds of revisions, I've cut out the start of the story, and made it begin later into the adventure. I've had to write the start of the first chapter from scratch, and reason it reads like it's not been edited, is because it hasn't!! The first page is currently a mass of editing scribbles (again), but I have found that by the time I've reached the end of the chapter today, there's just the odd tweak. It looks like I'm not quite as bad as I feared, but I quite sure that I'm a bit more stupid than I look. :o)